In one day my life as I knew it would never be the same, and in a really big way. My husband, the father to my baby, This life we had created together, worked so hard for cried tears and fought for… just gone. No warning, just gone.
I know so many people in the world are experiencing this right now. Their entire life has just been swept away…. Having to create something new, when your grieving something so big. Grieving a life you weren’t ready to be done with. It’s such a lonely and sad process. It’s a shitty place to be. It’s the darkest coldest hole in the ground.
I think we all go through hard times.. times of sadness, loneliness, deep pain and grief. I think it’s important to remember you are not alone. Sometimes it feels like your alone because it’s your personal experience, it’s your life.
Your life is the one that came with 24,000 jigsaw pieces and that puzzle you fought for, cried for and worked so hard to keep together came crashing down right before your very eyes. Stripping that dream you thought you had away from your very fingers. The pieces of your intricate puzzle went everywhere and you’re now left to find them and figure out where they belong. They will wait patiently for a warm hand to pick them up again. Those pieces won’t ever be quite the same as they once were, but piece by piece they will start to form something beautiful.
I’m just starting to pick up a few of my pieces and it’s hard. They are heavy and I have to mourn each piece for what it was and how it used to serve me. I will eventually find a new place for each piece. As I enter into this process and truly experience it for what it is I honor each and every piece I pick up. I send love and thank you’s to every single one for giving me what I had and hope that it will serve me in a new way.
In this dark lonely scary place I am so grateful for such an amazing family to be there for me to make my burdens a little lighter and to help me through every step of the way! I don’t know where I would be right now without my people. It’s the only way I am surviving.
My heart goes out to and aches so deep for the millions of people who have lost their worlds in an instant. We all have to bind together in this trying time. There is no time for small drama, the world is going through something so major and it’s important for us to stand strong. I have seen so many amazing people helping and doing everything they can to help strangers, especially in my own life. Nothing makes me happier then to see this kind of beauty and love happening.
The horizon offers promise of a new day. As the sun dips, Every morning it rises again. Thank you all for the love you have shared to me, and across the world. There is hope, happiness love and beauty and you are not alone.